If this book had just been a quirky dumb romcom about a socially anxious introverted genius, I would have had no problems with it, and probably rated it 4 or 5 stars. Instead the author kept throwing in references to Autism Spectrum Disorder in a way that I found stereotypical, insulting and not a realistic or empathetic view of ASD at all. It is insulting to say that somebody with a neurodevelopmental disorder like ASD can just decide to "grow up" (the character's quote) and stop having difficulties with social communication in order to be in a romantic relationship. [Chapter 30 - "I had, to some extent, become comfortable with being socially odd. At school, I had been the unintentional class clown and eventually the intentional one. It was time to grow up."] This implies, very insultingly, that individuals with ASD are not behaving as the result of changes in their neurodevelopment outside of their control, but simply acting immature, and that they can just snap out of it whenever they are properly motivated. This attitude is often why children with ASD are mistreated and even abused by parents, teachers, authority figures, etc.

I felt like I was watching a bad sitcom or romantic comedy. Plus the idea that the character is just some robot with no emotional response at all is also unrealistic and insulting. Many individuals with ASD have deep social motivation and are very pained by the fact that they do not fit in. The author glosses over the main character's clinical depression and other serious results of his being ostracized, laughed at, and shunned for most of his life, yet does nothing to make us feel like he would be pained by any of this. He is just a funny "Sheldon" character for us to all laugh at without feeling any of his pain or like he is a real human being. I do not think this author has ever met or known well an individual with autism. And the romcom trope of "they all lived happily ever after" was also simplistic, sexist, and dumb (but I find this to be true of 99% of romcoms).

If you want to read a realistic book about ASD, I suggest [b:The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time|1618|The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time|Mark Haddon|https://d.gr-assets.com/books/1327882682s/1618.jpg|4259809]. If you want to watch a tv show with a realistic character with ASD (Max), I recommend "Parenthood."

Overall, a shame, because I feel that if the author had decided NOT to swim into a topic he knew nothing about, we would have had a quick, fun, better-than-average, interesting romcom on our hands. Or, if he had done more research and met individuals with ASD, we might have had a very good, heartwarming, and advocating look at how individuals with ASD can live successfully in our society with support & empathetic understanding. This author clearly has skill. Instead, we got neither.

P.S. The representation of clinical psychologists was also extremely insulting, but that's a rant for another day.

- Clinical Child Psychologist with specialization in ASD & Developmental Disorders, Sibling of an Adult with ASD

The Rosie Project - Likewise Book Reviews

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