1.4 stars.

Throughout reading this book, I discovered a part of myself that I'd never known about before. It's the part of me that comes out whenever I'm extremely uncomfortable. Aka, the part of me that literally had to read gay fanfiction to purge this from my brain. Despite the overt heterosexualness and macho attitudes that probably just cut off any sort of attraction I have towards the opposite gender, this book was just a bore.

I recently got into annotating my books, and I probably would have read this book ten times quicker if I didn't spend so much time underlining the things I thought were stupid, immature, and just downright worrying.

Edward and Jacob's immaturity towards each other really shows during this book. They're constantly trying to one up each other when it comes to Bella's affection. And they're constantly trying to keep her away from each other. Whether it's Jacob forcefully kissing Bella or Edward tampering with Bella's truck so she can't go see her furry friend, both of these assholes caused me so much frustration that I think at one point I had a stroke because I can barely member anything about this book. Team Edward and Team Jacob out of the window, I'm Team Bella Go Buy A Vibrator If You Want To Get Off So Bad, Cause The Sex Can't Be Worth It.

I was under the misconception that this book was one of the better ones in the series. I remember it having a semblance of plot compared to its previous counterpart. Well, I was wrong. Any sort of plot it has is so drawn out over the 600 pages that makes up Eclipse that it’s pretty much void.

Stephenie Meyer is not that great at creating a sense of foreboding doom, and it’s painfully obvious throughout the duration of this book. Every time they mentioned ‘maybe Victoria’s behind this’ I just yelled ‘you haven’t figured that out yet?’ Victoria is not a well developed villain and her arc is terribly executed. Meyer could have put some effort in creating a villain that’s actually scary, but she spent way too much time on the romance.

Speaking of romance, it sucks. In this book, Jacob goes completely r/niceguys and Edward just continues to be the manipulative asshole we all know he is. To think Stephenie Meyer thought we’d trade ****** romance when we could have gained an interesting plot about the Volturi. But who knows? Maybe people like the ****** romance.

Is now the time to mention that Jasper was a confederate soldier? No? Well,
I don’t know how to transition into that, so I do think now’s the time to mention that Jasper was a confederate soldier.

I’m not going to deep dive into that because… I’m just not equipped to… I’m just not equipped in general.

The only thing that was redeeming about this book is Rosalie’s backstory. I would read a whole book about the backstories of these characters (instead of Jasper, the racist).

(okay, I am going to talk about that. It’s literally never mentioned again after he mentions it. They don’t even have any reaction. It’s just so ****** weird)

I thought this was better than the last two, but that is a huge lapse of judgment on my part and I will never go into anything in the series with slightly subpar expectations.

Eclipse - Likewise Book Reviews

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